Hi, I am Catherine and I am currently readjusting to life without gambling. Jan 29th, 2007 will be my 10-year mark in recuperation, but will never disremember where I have come from with gambling dependence.
Gambling addiction took away my life without killing me, it took away my family, friends, occupation, my house, and almost ruined my love life with my husband. It cost me more than what money can buy. At that suffering time, I also had undiagnosed mental and emotional health problems that I did not realize until 2002.
I came from the depths of hell, despondency, and hopelessness.
My First Unsuccessful Self-Murder Attempt
I opened my eyes in a room at the hospital, I could feel my wrist wrapped up in bandages, I heard people talking about knives, but I lost conscious again. The only thing I can recall was everything turning blank. At present I understand it was a total mind and body collapse. A mental/emotional knockout. I was taken to a rehab centre after that incidence.
I was observed for self-murder for the first few days. Not long after, a therapist began working with me. What's more, obviously, I was additionally a habitual card shark as well. Thus, I began working with an addictions advocate too.
I have tried to quit betting on my own but felt I could handle it by myself and I wasn't successful with lots of recurrences and binges even while in ambulatory treatment. I suppose I had not arrived underneath still.
Even after staying for 20 days in a crisis centre and a failed suicide!
What Has Happened To Me?
It's known as DEPENDENCE. It is an infection that is difficult to overcome. Be that as it may, conceivable. What's more, this wasn't my last time I would work this circuit.
In some years later, I tried to end my life not due to gambling specifically rather my imprudence relating to monetary issues, and this showed the flaws in the effort I put into getting better physically and mentally.
First lesson? A well-balanced recovery plan. Some years later, I envied those who had a normal healthy life, so I quit taking my prescriptions which served to treat my psychological problems. In this way, I quit taking them supposing it was recently the betting that was bringing on my dysfunctional behaviour issues of PTSD, hyper discouragement, mellow madness uneasiness and bipolar a sleeping disorder cycles and OCD. All in all, inside two weeks of no meds? I had returned to serious misery and self-destructive. The way I handled it by taking the pills at once dragged me back to the dark side of emptiness again.
I got back to the hospital again, with 16 days in the crisis centre and being watched for suicide attempts.
When dismissed this time, I had found out the difficult way that I require to take meds to keep my mental/emotional health and welfare as they refer this being "dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis."
Recuperation with even negative encounters, sprinkled with some "confidence" can indicate us numerous life lessons in recuperation. Too bad if I did not get any lessons, I won't see how much I changed in life. Even when you are not partaking in your preferred dependence, we can still have issues come up and life challenges in recovery, so being ready is very important.
Where Can I Be Going With This Part Of My Story?
A lot of destinations
First, the practices and actions that we earn and learn within any dependence and "the cycle" of any dependence have to be discontinued and removed for us to have an opportunity at a very honest recovery. Balance is the key in your recuperation way also. Acknowledge the necessary skills and tools in the therapy to treat your addiction, don't give any space in you for making excuses, refusal, and others.
Second, come to consent that recuperation is a lifetime program. It is as imperative to acknowledge as Step-one, add up to surrender.
Next, is having a setup which halts the regression of the whole remedial process and it is essential for any individual who desires a permanent positive outcome. It is a sure thing that life moments are still being made. Even jovial or optimistic occurrences, not simple negative or pessimistic ones.
I feel it is the reason Gamblers Anonymous poses the question in our combo book of "The 20 Questions" to check whether you have an issue with betting. The question number 19: "Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?" YES! For me, even when good things occurred, I would want to observe a notable occasion by going purportedly to catch some "fun" by betting. At that time, my addiction toward gambling was so serious, I tried everything to control myself with, other than Gamblers Anonymous.
I shared this gambling dependence with people that has common addicts to get support and to convince myself that this sickness is subtly dangerous and scheming. What's more, GA showed me that it is so imperative to be there for others through recuperation benefit as others were there for me when I was a newcomer.
We have to begin a discussion about this still hush, hush dependence. Let's destroy the "myths" concerning it. It is one way to pull down the "stigma" around it, and around those who live dual diagnosed also. It is undeniable that mental issues in recovery is a tough way to face, but I hope my story can be a light in the darkness for some people that almost lose their strength and hope that recovery can actually work. It is still possible for patients to have beautiful, happy live ahead.